Senseless in Heaven
by Daniel Noll
I only hope that;
If the Devil has a domicile
and Hell be it and not a myth,
If I'm to dwell in the upper realms
I'd rather not know
What lies down below, and hope
That along with wings
And celestial things
Eternity comes with
A perfect forgetting
I only hope that:
If Gods nature be specific enough
To allocate itself a space for us
And Heaven be it's name
And if I, in Christ,with faith
Enough, did trust,
To get myself there
And through that hard door And meet my old friends
That we never recall
This frail time and all
It's simple perversions.
I only hope that
If all we who've lived, survive
and death is just a passage
To another form of space and life.
If Justice more than mercy screams
In this whole vast scheme
And Hell is not a dream
I hope I dwell above
With God in all His love
With imperfect hearing
I'd rather not hear the Angels singing
If my ears are not deaf
To Hells raucus grieving.
I only hope that;
If some fair space is set apart
and Grace bestows me my fair share
for having played the game
within the bounds and kept the rules,
that I can, amidst all the glitter of that bright sky,
Bring the lids down on these moist eyes.
For I would rather blindly stumble on golden curbs
See nothing or even rust prefer
To gold, then peeking over heavens wall
See a wide-eyed image of old friends writhing
Or loved ones burning.
I only hope that
If, with my nose, I need to breathe to pray
That the wind that carry scent away
That makes a memory
Of the blooms bouquet
Blows that memory another way
Or comes scentless to my nose
Than take the chance of smelling smoke
From someone I might know
On fire down below.
So, if I, senseless, in Heaven, must abide
to tolerate the joy and glory of it all
If angels must lead me from show to show
And if of heaven all I know
Be a fingers touch
I'll at least not regret nor feel sorrow
Though I may wonder
When I come on Heavens door
just what it might be there for.
1 comment:
Growing up Evangelical Fundamental Christian I have always been left wondering how the whole after your dead existance thing would actually work itself out, what with judgment, the devil, Heaven and Hell, eternal fire where "the worm dieth not" and all that. "Worms" in Hell? What could a worm have possibly done? Anyway, more to the point, the question addressed in this poem is the level of awareness and/or concern by those who enter heavens gate regarding the fate of loved ones who don't "make it". I've got some close relatives and friends who I am quite certain don't fit into the category "SAVED". That being the case their fate seems destined to be eternal damnation with all that existence entails. If I do "make it" through Heavens door, how will I deal with the fact that my loved one didn't make it and accordingly would be somewhere in some space/time continuum experienccing eternal damnation.
A "perfect forgetting" doesn't sound right. Maybe I just won't care, but that doesn't ring true. Perhaps our enlightened self will understand perfectly the "Eternal Justice" of it and let it go at that. That sounds a lot like saying "they got what they deserved" and so it won't bother me" which somehow does not ring true either.
Perhaps the writers of the Holy Book took some liberties with the inspired text they were receiving. They were writers after all, and I'm certain the creative impulse was somewhat stymied by the fact they were just taking dictation. What could a little eleaboration hurt?
At any rate, those are the types of speculations that gave rise to th poem.
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