GETTING LAID by Daniel Noll

Getting Laid

by

Daniel Noll

What if human beings laid eggs?

Instead of coming out all arms and legs

Unprotected and un-encased;

We cracked a shell and popped out ready to run a race?

Just how big, do you think, would the egg have to be

To fit inside it a fully realized me?

And still be laid without a blade to pop me out of mother?

Would we, then, be less inclined to eat the offspring of the hen?

Do you suppose that the Holy Ghost,

Who as a dove on Jesus did repose,

Spent any egg time,

Or just tear straightaway into bird-dom;

Appear poached on a limb above the mighty lamb?

On which side of the egg (if an egg had sides)

Would the abortionist lay?

The issues are scrambled enough today,

Add an eggshell and who could say.

Not over-easy decisions to make.

On that very same shell, would the pro-lifer dwell

While eating fried eggs for breakfast?

I think I am glad of the way I was had.

Though the egg has its merits

I’d rather not share them with things that were hatched.